what am i doing with my life?

Do you ever find yourself constantly thinking, "WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!" 

I certainly do.

It's not like anything is that bad. Nothing is really going wrong. It's just not right. I don't feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be.

Marriage is great, I love our home, I have a good job, I'm decently fit and pretty and have things to work towards and look forward to....but I'm not satisfied. There has to be something more for me out there!

I want to be passionate about my career. I want to do something that makes me truly happy. I want to help people. I want to do something worthwhile. I want a lot of things......but I don't really know what exactly they are or how to get them.

Some refer to this as a quarter life crisis. I support that terminology. Clearly I don't really have a solution for it, I'm just here to tell you that you're not alone.

It seems like everyone around me has such a successful life. The perfect work from home job that they love. A beautiful, happy marriage and family. The perfect body, hair, nails and wardrobe. A blog or Instagram that gets butt loads of views and likes even though their content doesn't seem that great. It's just not fair! I feel like I work twice as hard for half the results.

But then I look at my own Instagram. My life looks pretty perfect, too (because I try way too hard to portray it that way). And it's totally not. At all. It's a bunch of ups and downs and not really knowing where I'm going but making the most out of each stop along the way. It's beautiful mess. So I can only assume that everyone else's "perfect" lives are that way, too.

I don't really know where I'm going with this post......but to put it simply, I hope we can all find our way to where we're meant to be. That we can find true happiness with where we're at, and where we're headed. And may we find it sooner than later.

Here's to hoping that what we're looking for is right around the corner. But for now, let's enjoy the present and stop waiting for the perfect life to come knocking on our doors.

That being said, if you have any advice or ideas or suggestions or a friendly, "I feel ya, girl", please share.

The end. Sorry for rambling.

Here I am looking glamorous and perfect and trendy on our recent trip to NYC, living the dream and all. But what you don't know, is that I had a huge zit on my chin that kept bleeding and scabbing over and the back of my shirt was sprinkled with sweat marks because I sweat more than the average twenty-something woman. Not so glamorous. Not so perfect. Ew. 

The Martins Do Manhattan

New York City.

One belongs to it instantly...as much in five minutes as in five years.

My bucket list has been sprinkled with New York adventures for a long, long time. I had a lot of expectations, and it met or exceeded every. single. one.

We practically ate our way through the city. Early breakfasts, morning snacks, mandatory lunches, afternoon snacks, mid-day coffee, late night dinners with cocktails and desert. We agreed that we walked enough each day to make up for all those extra calories. No big deal.

I can't even begin to tell you my favorite sites, foods, or things to do. So instead, here is a collection of thoughts.

  • New York City is constantly as busy as the mall at Christmas. No one cares if they are in your way. At first it is terribly overwhelming, but you learn to deal with it.
  • The buildings are built literally on top of each other. They can't go out, so they go up. And leave NO room in between. Its a beautiful thing to see, but it made me thankful for my backyard. 
  • There's no way Carrie walked around in heels all the time. I got a blister on day 1 in my comfiest pair of boots that have stood up to many-a-OSU football game. 
  • The Subways are hella confusing; we just started to figure them out on our last day there. They are also very dirty.....bring hand sanitizer....but typically the fastest way to get across town.
  • Traffic is just like in the movies. Honking, swerving, people walking in front of cars. Yikes.
  • The food. Oh my taste buds. See below for a list of restaurants.
  • In every city, there's a neighborhood I fall for. In NYC, it was The Village. Much different from The Village, Okla. 
  • I've never seen so many dogs in my life as I did in NYC. I guess people don't have backyards, so they are forced to take their dogs on walks day in and day out. It's a beautiful thing.
  • I think I heard more foreign languages during our trip than I did English. 
  • There is literally a Starbucks on every single corner and not many other options when it comes to decent coffee. 

The low down on food:

  • Nomad Restaurant. I give their foi-gras truffle chicken five stars. OMG.
  • Ess-A-Bagel. Probably the best bagel I've ever eaten. And I ate it at Tiffany's. 
  • Laudreé. I didn't know macaroons could be THAT amazingly light and deliciously flavorful.
  • Serendipity 3's Frozen Hot chocolate. Delicious, but not quite worth the wait or the hype.
  • Fedora. Easily the #1 cocktail of the trip, and of my life. "Esmerelda, I Love You" was named that for a reason. The food, however, was not worth the price. 
  • Doughnut Plant. I've eaten a LOT of donuts in my life, and I can say without a doubt that these are the tastiest donuts by far. So much so that we came back again for more. Also, their bathroom has a disco ball.
  • Momofuku Noodle Bar. It may be in the sketchiest of 'hoods, but their ramen is top notch and the shrimp buns are, too.
  • Magnolia Bakery. I see what the big deal is. Those cupcakes are damn good. The banana pudding, however, was subpar; I could make it better at home. Also, I wanted to murder someone in that storefront. It was a shit show. Pardon my French.
  • Shake Shack. I get it now. My taste buds are born again. They'll never be the same. 

What we did:

  • Explore Eataly and have a beer on the rooftop. It's a maze, but it's a cool maze with a lot of food.
  • Have Breakfast at Tiffany's. And drool over the diamonds, obvi.
  • Window shop on 5th Avenue. It was a little depressing because we couldn't afford anything.
  • Sit on the Met Steps like in Gossip Girl. Xoxo.
  • Stroll through Central Park (next time we'll rent bikes so we can see more of it).
  • Walk the High Line - an old railroad track that has been converted to a walking trail / park.
  • Find the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. apartment building in The Village
  • Visit Rockafeller Center and go to the Top of the Rock (AMAZING view of Central Park!)
  • See Times Square at Night. It's so bright it's like day time. It's also SO insanely full of people and I don't exactly want to go back.
  • Go to The Lion King on Broadway. It was the highlight of my trip. Oh my, Mufassa. 
  • Walk the Brooklyn Bridge

Not to rub it in, but it was an absolutely amazing trip. There was so much left undone (and so much that I want to do again). I can't wait to go back.

Looking at you, Mr. Martin. 
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